7/05/2013

The joy of pink jogging shoes.

 
(picture taken from here)

This week I bought myself running clothes (I can't believe I am writing this without laughing hysterically...). And since this is an activity that I haven't done that regularly in my life so far, I was surprised to find entire departments, dedicated to running shoes, shirts, pants and underwear in the giant (!) sports store of my hometown. When I asked a shop assistant for help with finding the right pair of shoes, he lead me away to a department for shoes for women. I asked him what the difference was between shoes for men and women, and he told me that women shift weight differently when they run, because they have another body shape than men. I nodded, while I was test walking some shoes on a treadmill and tried not to breathe too loudly. Women have a different body shape. I got that. What I didn't get, on the other hand, was the fact that all the women's shoes were pink. All of them. And we're not talking a bit of pink, but full-on Barbie pink. All complete with aerodynamic stripes on the sides. I tried to find a non-pink pair and at last found some canary yellow ones in a heap marked "Sale". I proceeded to the running clothes. All lycra-plastic-quick-drying-material, and all pink. Or purple. Or baby powder blue. Or yellow.
I am ginger. So this was hell! After five minutes of a mild workout my face usually takes a healthy crimson colour, and with my red hair I already look like my head is on fire. Add a pink shirt to that, and I can just as well shoot myself in the head and be done with it. (Fun anecdote - A guy who works in my gym actually once came up to me with a cold glass of water and asked me to sit down, because I looked like I was about to collapse. Did I already mention he was cute? Yeah, you get the picture...)
Also - why are there butterflies on work-out clothes for women? Why? What do men have on their clothes? Bulls? Stallions? I don't want a butterfly on the pants I wear, while I am running up a hill with Destiny Child's "Survivor" blasting on my headphones and I am fighting back tears of agony in my eyes. I maybe would consider wearing a shirt with the Very Hungry Caterpillar on it, but only because it is my spirit animal...
After nearly an hour of searching, I gave up and bought myself black running pants with silvery lines on the side (what is it with these lines?! do you look faster in them?!), a dark blue shirt from the men's department (unfortunately no built-in bra here...) and my yellow running shoes. And I thought about gendered work-out clothes and why women have to look so stupid when they work out. Seriously, can somebody please do something about it!? Thank you.


By the way, here is the best way to prank a jogger. Brilliant.

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