6/24/2016

Shine bright like a diamond.

Yip, this is a blog entry about a beauty product. Buckle up your seatbelts - you are in for a ride! 

A few months back I read an article about the miracle that is the Korean sheet face mask. Apparently young South Korean women are obsessed with these masks, that give you an almost Beyoncé-like glow. The basic idea is: You put one of these sheet masks on your face every two days, leave them on for 20 minutes, go to bed and look flawless the next morning. I was highly skeptical.

(sorry for the crappy pictures, I really need a new camera!)

I ordered myself a bunch of masks from Innisfree, which is a brand that focuses on all natural ingredients. More often than not, products from Asia are full of chemicals and other shit you want nowhere near your face. And also - and this pisses me off in oh so many ways - they bleach your skin slightly. Because having white, "European" skin is considered beautiful in many parts of Asia. I didn't want any of that shit, so I opted for the natural version.



Here you go - me at my most Hannibal Lecter. The masks smell insanely delicious and are nice and cool on your skin. You put them on your freshly washed face in the evening and then go to bed. After 15-20 minutes you take them off, massage the rest of moisture into your face and then go to sleep. 



This is me right after the mask. I might have to add, that as a redhead with insanely dry, irritated and problematic skin, looking this "normal" without any make-up is not something that happens! Usually I look like a blotchy baked potato without make-up! All red and shiny and greasy. After one of the wonder masks though - purrrrrfection!



And here I am the next morning. I wear basically no make-up anymore (apart from mascara and a bit of BB-cream and compact powder). I don't have to put on green make-up base to mask my red, irritated skin. People tell me that I am glowing. A handsome young man recently said I had skin like in a make-up commercial (yeah, he was trying to get into my pants - BUT STILL!)

The masks come in 15 different versions, depending on your skin type and needs. They are very cheap (max. 1 Euro per piece) and if you look hard and long enough on Ebay, you might get them even cheaper! I just ordered 150 for 40 Cents a piece...

I know I am prone to get overly excited about shit - BUT THESE MASKS ARE THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO HUMAN SKIN SO BUY THEM NOW AND THANK ME LATER. K THX BYE!

6/20/2016

What has happened in the past 3 months?!



I went to a lot of job interviews.

I got incredibly drunk with a hockey team, danced until my feet hurt and kissed an unwilling handsome bearded guy. 

It got really really warm and really sunny.

I started to read books again and deleted all games on my phone.

I bought beauty masks from South Korea and now I look like Beyoncé (more on that later!).

It started raining and just never stopped for 4 weeks straight.


I got offered a truly exciting project for next winter and accepted.

I booked myself a trip to Denmark.

I booked myself a trip to Sweden

I went to an Asian massage place and a tiny woman stood on my neck until my spine cracked really loudly.

I started a Podcast with my brilliant young friend Sophie, who is unfortunately a genius. You can find it here

I ate a lot of raspberries.

Taylor Swift started dating Tom Hiddleston and that made me sad.



This is now and forever my new favourite song. 



Happy Monday! 



3/30/2016

Listomania



Man alive, it's been a while. But I found some cool stuff on the internet. Wanna see?!

1_ I recently got into watching "The Bridge" and immediately bingewatched the entire first season in one week. For people who haven't seen it: GO WATCH IT! For people who have seen it and want to see some more superdark, scandinavian crimestuff - this looks more than promising!!!




2_ My favourite hockey player of all time, Igor Larionov, writes about his sport. Even if you couldn't give less of a fuck about ice hockey - read it. 



3_ The thing that annoys me most about discussions about Donald Trump?! When people actually claim, that he is a successful businessman. He really is not. 


4_ MERYL IS BACK!!! SHE IS BACK, I SAY!!!!!




5_ And - to leave you on the best possible note - HEDGEHOG BELLIES! 


(as always: click pictures for source, because I don't own them in any way!)

2/22/2016

They do not forgive, they do not forget.


Since everyone is freaking out over "How to make a murderer" on Netflix right now, I thought I would take the chance to recommend another great film on Netflix. I recently watched "We are legion" about the online activist group Anonymous, and it was one of the best documentaries I have ever seen. It also really made me wanna re-watch "V for Vendetta". But that's another topic...

If you are like me and only have dangerous half-knowledge-nuggets about Anonymous or Wikileaks, this is for you! Also, if you don't really know how to feel about hackers and "hacktivism" - this is for you! Not that the documentary spells out the answer for you (because it's a good documentary, and good documentaries don't do that!) but it gives you enough material to build yourself an own (informed) opinion. It's also really funny, sometimes a little sad and most of all: crazy interesting!

The film gives an overview over the history of Anonymous, their infamous fight with Scientology, members who got into legal trouble, simply by doing what they thought was the "right thing" and the involvement of Anonymous in the Arab Spring.





No matter how you decide to feel about it all in the end, it's definitely worth watching this!

2/20/2016

Kladdkaka - The Swedish Miracle Cake of Awesome


It's probably fair to say that I am good at baking. A lot of people I know are not. But even a trained chimpanzee would be able to make this little cake, that is coincidentally also the best thing you can put into your mouth.

For those who have never eaten it - it's a very dense chocolate cake, a bit like a brownie but even more chewie. It takes about 5 minutes to prepare and 20 minutes in the oven. It's very delicious and creamy and best eaten whilst still slightly warm and with a massive amount of vanilla ice cream.

Alright, let's see what you need:

100 g butter
3 dl (300 ml) sugar
2 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla sugar (if you don't have any - fuck it! tastes good anyways!)
6 Tablespoons cocoa powder
1,5 dl (150 ml) flour
a tiny smudge of salt
some frozen blueberries, almonds or mini marshmallows (OPTIONAL!) 

Alright, here is what you do: You melt the butter in a pot over low heat. You then turn off the heat. You take all of the other ingredients and throw them in the pot. You stir until you have a creamy dough. AND THAT IS LITERALLY IT!!! See how easy this is?! ANYBODY can do this!

Put your oven on 175°C, wait until it's properly hot and then bang the dough in some muffin forms or a cake pan or something. (I sometimes put frozen blueberries on top. You can also use some mini marshmallows or you can just fuckin' not. Still good, even without foofy extras.) Leave it in the oven for 20 minutes.

Take it out. Eat all of it. Like a boss.



1/22/2016

Somebody rammed a rusty fork into my uterus, but I am not allowed to talk about it.



There is something special about menstruation cramps. They are like a toothache for your nether regions, a stabbing, gnawing sort of pain, that sneaks up on you, just to hit you at full speed and bring you to your knees. It's just a little backpain at first. Just a tiny bit annoying. And then - when you least expect it - KABOOM it goes. It keeps you up at night and makes you whimper when standing up from a chair. It makes your lower belly pop out a bit, it makes standing or walking or sitting or lying down unbearable.


You might also get swooning moments so intense, that you have to grab on to anybody and anything and then breathe very deeply, to make it go away. Often in public, often to the bewildered stares of total strangers, who are just standing next to you at the supermarket and suddenly have to function as some sort of human crutch on which you lean whilst whispering "Make it stop. Make it stoooop!". It is quite a dramatic sort of thing. Not "dramatic" like "Oh my god, something is actually wrong" - more like "OH MY GOD, let's pretend we're in Bollywood movie, and someone just shot the main character!" sort of dramatic. You know it will be gone in a few days, you know it is perfectly normal. You're not gonna die from it. 



BUT - there is one thing about it, that really annoys the living bejeezus out of me. Why oh why, are we not allowed to talk about it? Only to our close female friends, only behind closed doors. Only with grimaces and pointing and mouthing "down there" a lot. Or - when the conversation has turned a bit more frank, after, like, three drinks - with phrases as "It's like someone slaughtered a pig. I might just as well sit down in a bathtub with a bottle of Tequila for the next four days!".

"Well, it's private..." you might say. And it is. Just as private as having a cold. Or a headache. Yet I never see my female friends or co-workers wave around their tampons and painkillers in the same way sick people (and let's be honest here - most of them are men!) wave around their tissues/nasal spray/menthol pastilles/nose showers/whatever.

And this makes me very sad. Mostly because feminism. But also because this means that nobody will ever come over with a lot of pity,  some cheese and/or cookies and softly stroke my head while I watch Youtube clips of funny squirrels and cry for a bit.



(all GIFS are taken from here and here)

1/14/2016

2016's first list.

Well, let's be honest for a second: So far this year has not been great. Turning on the news might cause mild to severe depression these days, David Bowie just died and today Alan Rickman also left this planet for good. Well, since everything looks a bit grey and shitty right now - let's cheer ourselves up with a fun little list of stuff you can find on the internet.

1_ My two heroes Tina Fey and Amy Poehler doing what they do best - being awesome! 




2_ He is back! My imaginary husband Ryan Gosling is back - after what feels like a trillion years without a movie, he is going to be in at least one this year. And the really good news is this: He gets to be funny! And funny Gosling is the best Gosling, so hold on to your panties - here is the trailer for his upcoming film! (insert fangirl screaming here)




3_ Finally! Someone actually took the time to unmask some of pop culture's biggest icons. With fairly surprising results...




4_  I know - this is superold! But it never fails to cheer me up. Ever. Because this girl slays!




5_ Aaand even more Tina Fey. Because she is the best. The End.




(click pictures for source)

1/11/2016

He was the nazz with God-given ass.


I didn't know that I assumed he was immortal, until I heard he died. Until I saw the push messages on my screen saying "David Bowie dies of cancer at age 69". And I am so confused, as I stumble into the bathroom to brush my teeth. How can David Bowie have died? Isn't dying just for humans?

As I toast my bread, I think about people who believe that Tupac and Michael Jackson and Elvis are still alive, sitting on a lonely island somewhere, sipping cocktails and watching the sun go down. I think about the fact that these people are clearly insane and deluded. And then I think "But,... maybe Bowie isn't really dead. He didn't even age like a normal human being. He still looked 38 and sounded 27. How could he be dead?"

I think of that movie Velvet Goldmine and how the main character pretends to die on stage. Maybe it's that kind of situation? His album just came out! And he sounds so good on it! So alive! So intergalactic and otherworldly.

I honestly didn't know I cared this much. I honestly didn't know that I assumed he was immortal. Because he died so many times and then resurrected himself time and time again that you kinda got used to it.

Being born in 1986, for me, Bowie was always..."around". He was in my parents' record player and in movies and on MTV. He was musical history but still somehow relevant. He was a given. The cool guys in my school would sing "Space Oddity" around campfires on class trips. And I mean - the really cool guys! The ones you fancied and swooned over. They played Bowie. Because they knew something I would only realize years later: the genius of David Bowie was, that he could make us - insignificant, 15-year-old teenagers from a tiny town in the middle of nowhere, who had never seen true hardship in their lives - feel like the heroes he sang about.

Heroes. Just for a day.



12/30/2015

2015 - A list

I traditionally end every year with a list. Of everything good and bad, funny and sad, brilliant and miserable. Here's last years listand here is the one for this past year. 





travelled: Brighton, Denmark, Prague.
ate: any burger I could get my hands on.
drank: Seven gin & tonics in one night. Yes, I barfed the next day. Like the true grown-up I am...
listened to: Tons of music I would have deemed „shitty“ a few years ago.
read: A lot, which I liked.
watched: Netflix. All. Of. The. Time. It's a miracle I get anything done, really!
walked: Everywhere. I really need a bike.





drove: I sold my car. Me being unemployed works out unexpectedly well for the environment.
ran: Nowhere. Running sucks, I am big enough a person to admit that freely now!
met: A funny, smart girl at my old job who eventually became my new roommate, my quasi-wife and my new favourite person in this world.
cried: Mostly in front of cheesy movies. And sometimes for actual proper reasons.
laughed: About anything Amy Poehler and Tina Fey said, did or made.
lay down: At the beach, on green green grass and in my comfy, cosy bed.
danced: Like a maniac at a sport's gala event. We had to buy a litre of soda and seven (!) cheeseburgers on the way home.
stood: With my newborn goddaughter in my arms and fell massively in love with a tiny, perfect, slightly crumpled human being.







lost: A little bit of optimism and some silly fears.
gained: The belief that „WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK?!?!“ is quite a good life motto sometimes.
best moment: Standing in a freezing ice rink, counting down seconds on a clock and then screaming like crazy and bursting into hysterical tears when my home hockey team won the championship. Honestly: Tears were squirting out of my eyes manga-comic-style! What happened to me...
worst moment: Having to put my dog Molly down. Worst Valentine's Day of all time.
funniest moment: Secretly peeing in a bucket on holiday, with at least 30 people standing outside the door, chit-chatting about the weather and my friend had to guard the door to make sure nobody saw us. And yes: She peed in that exact same bucket around 2 minutes later. Not our finest moment, to be honest.
best concert: Secaina Hudson in Brighton.






done for the first time: Quit my job, got a tattoo inside my lower lip, interviewed people in front of a camera, went to a beach party, danced on a table whilst wearing a Dirndl.
done for the (hopefully) last time: Let myself be pushed around and bullied by horrible people.
something new: My roommate, my Beyoncé tattoo, my absurd amount of enthusiasm for anything hockey.
something old: Still trying to be a good and decent person. More or less successfully.


what I was thankful for in 2015: My crazy awesome friends, my family, being healthy, the invention of Spaghetti Bolognese and, as always: Ryan Gosling.

what I want for 2016: Let's be honest and cut the crap – a boyfriend would actually be nice. If you're a halfway decent guy who remembers to take showers on a regular basis and you're able to make jokes that I can laugh about without wanting to shoot myself, then: call me! Cheers dude! 

12/14/2015

Room.


On last Monday night in Prague, my host took me to see a Canadian film called "Room". I had already seen the trailer and decided it was way too sad for me, but since I was invited I couldn't really say no, and I'm actually glad I couldn't.



It was, without a doubt, the most beautiful, heart-wrenchingly sad and yet somehow uplifting film I have seen in a long time.



It's fairly quiet, there are no flashy effects or anything, it simply tells the story of a mother and her son, who are being held captive by a man. They are living in "room", which is the inside of a garden shed. The boy, who is called Jack, was born there and doesn't know anything else but the inside of this shed. He knows he has to hide in the cupboard, when their captor Nick comes every night to rape his mum. And he knows that he loves his mother very much. But the outside world is a mistery to him.



The story focuses on Jacks view of things, of the room and their flight and the new world they both discover outside. It's unbelievably gripping and I have rarely cried this much in a movie theater. Also: the actors are wonderful, especially the boy who plays Jack. You never for a second see the actor behind the role.

Since this is an independent movie, there aren't a lot of cinemas that show it, but if you get the chance - go see it! I promise, you won't regret it!