2/11/2016

What I've been up to lately.

Man alive, it's been a while. To get everybody up to date on what's happened in my life those past two weeks - here's a quick recap:



Went for a winter walk with my mum and froze my toes off.



Found out that Czech beer is actually really nice, and decided to drink loads of it whilst watching hockey. In my pyjamas. With wool socks on my feet. Are you turned on yet?!



Speaking of Czech: My roomie and I took a little roadtrip to Brno one weekend (one of the nicest towns I ever visited, by the way...).



We had some Svičkova (which might be my new favourite dish now...) and beer in a lovely restaurant called Jakoby in the middle of town. If you're ever there - massive recommendation for that one!



And the next day my roomie picked up her fantastic dog. Who is now our third roommate, which means I get to cuddle her sometimes. And she also fits the kitchen floor perfectly.



And - when I wasn't busy writing job applications and transcribing interviews - I had dirty martinis and talked about plans for world revolution.

The End!

1/22/2016

Somebody rammed a rusty fork into my uterus, but I am not allowed to talk about it.



There is something special about menstruation cramps. They are like a toothache for your nether regions, a stabbing, gnawing sort of pain, that sneaks up on you, just to hit you at full speed and bring you to your knees. It's just a little backpain at first. Just a tiny bit annoying. And then - when you least expect it - KABOOM it goes. It keeps you up at night and makes you whimper when standing up from a chair. It makes your lower belly pop out a bit, it makes standing or walking or sitting or lying down unbearable.


You might also get swooning moments so intense, that you have to grab on to anybody and anything and then breathe very deeply, to make it go away. Often in public, often to the bewildered stares of total strangers, who are just standing next to you at the supermarket and suddenly have to function as some sort of human crutch on which you lean whilst whispering "Make it stop. Make it stoooop!". It is quite a dramatic sort of thing. Not "dramatic" like "Oh my god, something is actually wrong" - more like "OH MY GOD, let's pretend we're in Bollywood movie, and someone just shot the main character!" sort of dramatic. You know it will be gone in a few days, you know it is perfectly normal. You're not gonna die from it. 



BUT - there is one thing about it, that really annoys the living bejeezus out of me. Why oh why, are we not allowed to talk about it? Only to our close female friends, only behind closed doors. Only with grimaces and pointing and mouthing "down there" a lot. Or - when the conversation has turned a bit more frank, after, like, three drinks - with phrases as "It's like someone slaughtered a pig. I might just as well sit down in a bathtub with a bottle of Tequila for the next four days!".

"Well, it's private..." you might say. And it is. Just as private as having a cold. Or a headache. Yet I never see my female friends or co-workers wave around their tampons and painkillers in the same way sick people (and let's be honest here - most of them are men!) wave around their tissues/nasal spray/menthol pastilles/nose showers/whatever.

And this makes me very sad. Mostly because feminism. But also because this means that nobody will ever come over with a lot of pity,  some cheese and/or cookies and softly stroke my head while I watch Youtube clips of funny squirrels and cry for a bit.



(all GIFS are taken from here and here)

1/14/2016

2016's first list.

Well, let's be honest for a second: So far this year has not been great. Turning on the news might cause mild to severe depression these days, David Bowie just died and today Alan Rickman also left this planet for good. Well, since everything looks a bit grey and shitty right now - let's cheer ourselves up with a fun little list of stuff you can find on the internet.

1_ My two heroes Tina Fey and Amy Poehler doing what they do best - being awesome! 




2_ He is back! My imaginary husband Ryan Gosling is back - after what feels like a trillion years without a movie, he is going to be in at least one this year. And the really good news is this: He gets to be funny! And funny Gosling is the best Gosling, so hold on to your panties - here is the trailer for his upcoming film! (insert fangirl screaming here)




3_ Finally! Someone actually took the time to unmask some of pop culture's biggest icons. With fairly surprising results...




4_  I know - this is superold! But it never fails to cheer me up. Ever. Because this girl slays!




5_ Aaand even more Tina Fey. Because she is the best. The End.




(click pictures for source)

1/11/2016

He was the nazz with God-given ass.


I didn't know that I assumed he was immortal, until I heard he died. Until I saw the push messages on my screen saying "David Bowie dies of cancer at age 69". And I am so confused, as I stumble into the bathroom to brush my teeth. How can David Bowie have died? Isn't dying just for humans?

As I toast my bread, I think about people who believe that Tupac and Michael Jackson and Elvis are still alive, sitting on a lonely island somewhere, sipping cocktails and watching the sun go down. I think about the fact that these people are clearly insane and deluded. And then I think "But,... maybe Bowie isn't really dead. He didn't even age like a normal human being. He still looked 38 and sounded 27. How could he be dead?"

I think of that movie Velvet Goldmine and how the main character pretends to die on stage. Maybe it's that kind of situation? His album just came out! And he sounds so good on it! So alive! So intergalactic and otherworldly.

I honestly didn't know I cared this much. I honestly didn't know that I assumed he was immortal. Because he died so many times and then resurrected himself time and time again that you kinda got used to it.

Being born in 1986, for me, Bowie was always..."around". He was in my parents' record player and in movies and on MTV. He was musical history but still somehow relevant. He was a given. The cool guys in my school would sing "Space Oddity" around campfires on class trips. And I mean - the really cool guys! The ones you fancied and swooned over. They played Bowie. Because they knew something I would only realize years later: the genius of David Bowie was, that he could make us - insignificant, 15-year-old teenagers from a tiny town in the middle of nowhere, who had never seen true hardship in their lives - feel like the heroes he sang about.

Heroes. Just for a day.



12/30/2015

2015 - A list

I traditionally end every year with a list. Of everything good and bad, funny and sad, brilliant and miserable. Here's last years listand here is the one for this past year. 





travelled: Brighton, Denmark, Prague.
ate: any burger I could get my hands on.
drank: Seven gin & tonics in one night. Yes, I barfed the next day. Like the true grown-up I am...
listened to: Tons of music I would have deemed „shitty“ a few years ago.
read: A lot, which I liked.
watched: Netflix. All. Of. The. Time. It's a miracle I get anything done, really!
walked: Everywhere. I really need a bike.





drove: I sold my car. Me being unemployed works out unexpectedly well for the environment.
ran: Nowhere. Running sucks, I am big enough a person to admit that freely now!
met: A funny, smart girl at my old job who eventually became my new roommate, my quasi-wife and my new favourite person in this world.
cried: Mostly in front of cheesy movies. And sometimes for actual proper reasons.
laughed: About anything Amy Poehler and Tina Fey said, did or made.
lay down: At the beach, on green green grass and in my comfy, cosy bed.
danced: Like a maniac at a sport's gala event. We had to buy a litre of soda and seven (!) cheeseburgers on the way home.
stood: With my newborn goddaughter in my arms and fell massively in love with a tiny, perfect, slightly crumpled human being.







lost: A little bit of optimism and some silly fears.
gained: The belief that „WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK?!?!“ is quite a good life motto sometimes.
best moment: Standing in a freezing ice rink, counting down seconds on a clock and then screaming like crazy and bursting into hysterical tears when my home hockey team won the championship. Honestly: Tears were squirting out of my eyes manga-comic-style! What happened to me...
worst moment: Having to put my dog Molly down. Worst Valentine's Day of all time.
funniest moment: Secretly peeing in a bucket on holiday, with at least 30 people standing outside the door, chit-chatting about the weather and my friend had to guard the door to make sure nobody saw us. And yes: She peed in that exact same bucket around 2 minutes later. Not our finest moment, to be honest.
best concert: Secaina Hudson in Brighton.






done for the first time: Quit my job, got a tattoo inside my lower lip, interviewed people in front of a camera, went to a beach party, danced on a table whilst wearing a Dirndl.
done for the (hopefully) last time: Let myself be pushed around and bullied by horrible people.
something new: My roommate, my Beyoncé tattoo, my absurd amount of enthusiasm for anything hockey.
something old: Still trying to be a good and decent person. More or less successfully.


what I was thankful for in 2015: My crazy awesome friends, my family, being healthy, the invention of Spaghetti Bolognese and, as always: Ryan Gosling.

what I want for 2016: Let's be honest and cut the crap – a boyfriend would actually be nice. If you're a halfway decent guy who remembers to take showers on a regular basis and you're able to make jokes that I can laugh about without wanting to shoot myself, then: call me! Cheers dude! 

12/14/2015

Room.


On last Monday night in Prague, my host took me to see a Canadian film called "Room". I had already seen the trailer and decided it was way too sad for me, but since I was invited I couldn't really say no, and I'm actually glad I couldn't.



It was, without a doubt, the most beautiful, heart-wrenchingly sad and yet somehow uplifting film I have seen in a long time.



It's fairly quiet, there are no flashy effects or anything, it simply tells the story of a mother and her son, who are being held captive by a man. They are living in "room", which is the inside of a garden shed. The boy, who is called Jack, was born there and doesn't know anything else but the inside of this shed. He knows he has to hide in the cupboard, when their captor Nick comes every night to rape his mum. And he knows that he loves his mother very much. But the outside world is a mistery to him.



The story focuses on Jacks view of things, of the room and their flight and the new world they both discover outside. It's unbelievably gripping and I have rarely cried this much in a movie theater. Also: the actors are wonderful, especially the boy who plays Jack. You never for a second see the actor behind the role.

Since this is an independent movie, there aren't a lot of cinemas that show it, but if you get the chance - go see it! I promise, you won't regret it!

12/09/2015

Hey I put some new shoes on and suddenly everything is right.


On my Tuesday in Prague, I bought myself some new sneakers. Since I somehow made a pact with myself to not buy anything here that you could buy everywhere, I opted for some Czech shoes.


Botas 66 is a Czech label that was fairly popular in the 70s and 80s. My friend told me, that they were literally the only sneakers you could get in soviet Czechoslovakia. After the end of the Cold War they went out of style, but were recently revived to their former glory.


All the shoes are apparently produced in the Czech Republic, and the materials are exclusively from the Czech Republic, Slovakia and Russia.


The prices range from 60 to 85 Euros, which is pretty fair, I think. Also - they are insanely comfortable. Unless you decide to walk in your brand new pair for 7 hours straight, but let's be honest: no shoe in the entire world is comfortable enough for that...

12/08/2015

Tuesday in Prague


After a lovely Monday (during which I somehow didn't take any pictures), Tuesday rolled around. My host Tereza had to work, so I was left to discover the city all by myself. I put on some lipstick to honour the occasion.



The city looked grey and foggy today, so instead of walking I took one of the teeeny-tiny trams into town center.


It is ridiculous how much prettier than German trams they are. <3



I started my day with breakfast at Café Louvre, which is a place right out of an Audrey Hepburn movie. Fluffy mini pancakes with strawberry sauce. Honestly, I could move here for the fucking food alone!


I met a guy from San Diego, who was sitting at the table next to me, and he gave me a drawing he did of me (insert a mental image of my very confused face here...). I'm pretty sure I have never looked like that in my entire life, but it was nice nonetheless (and yeah, a bit creepy, too...).


Afterwards I went back into the maze of cobblestone streets.


I went here and bought myself some Czech shoes.



Then I thought some culture might be in order, so - considering my Jewish ancestry - I went to the Jewish quarter of town. Very beautiful, but they charge you for everything, down to the old Jewish cemetery, so I didn't really see much.


Afterwards I walked along the river for a while and enjoyed the panorama view.


Around midday, I met my friend Tereza for lunch at her job. She works for one of the biggest beer companies in Czech.


I had fried cheese with a side of fries and mayonnaise. Because apparently this is a national dish. I have no idea how they are not all morbidly obese and dying of scurvy here...


Here's me, very excited. Beer for lunch makes that happen.



When I had (halfway) finished my lunch, I waved goodbye to Tereza and walked to Charles Bridge, which is probably the most typical spot in Prague. I may have cried a tiny bit, because it was so pretty. The pictures really don't do it justice!


And when my feet were finally too tired to go any further, I took the tram home.


Highlight of the day - by the way: They sell absurd penis-shaped cakes around here. Which are filled with cream! I mean... I was FaceTiming with my roomie on the computer and she had to avert her eyes when I tried to eat it. How anybody could eat one of these in public is an absolute mystery to me!