10/30/2014

Put a bird on it.


Long radio silence here, sorry 'bout that. But, on the bright side, I've not just been sitting idly around drinking wine, I've done some pretty epic shit during the past few weeks. One example of my epic-shittery: I have gotten a new tattoo. And my lovely friend Caro snapped a picture of me during the process. (Which is the first picture I actually like myself in, so I'll share it whenever possible...)


I had an old tattoo on my wrist. Got that one when I was 20 years old, heartbroken and thought Oasis were the best band in the world (Which they were. At least for a while...) but now it had to go. Here's a last look at it. Bye bye..



Here's the draft on my arm. The tattoo guy is a genius by the way, if you're ever in Hamburg or he's doing a guest spot somewhere, you should go see him for any tattooing needs you might have...



Half-done (Hurt like a little bitch, by the way. I had a massive bruise underneath the tattoo for at least 4 days afterwards.)



And here's the finished result all wrapped up.



And finally: 10 days later. He's a sparrow and his name is Eddie. My mum's first comment? "Well. Not exactly tiny, is it?"

10/17/2014

How I got emotionally invested in the lives of complete strangers.

Having your work day start at 6 in the fucking morning has many perks. ... Naaah, I'm totally messing with you - it sucks balls. Big time! And my body keeps reacting badly to it, even when I've finally convinced myself that it isn't actually all bad. My brain simply won't be rushed before 10am. And so I have large chunks of time during the early production shift, where I am simply staring into space. Or concentrating hard to not start drooling on the keyboard.

There are however a few things you can do to pass the time. And one of my favourite lifesavers is a lovely little site called Buzzfeed. Now - I'm not gonna explain to you what Buzzfeed is, I know that you know what Buzzfeed is (even though one of our interns didn't. She had never heard of it before. I seriously did not know what to do with this information.).

What I will explain to you, is why I am currently emotionally invested in the fate of two people who work at Buzzfeed. You see, I've started to watch Buzzfeed video clips. And I soon had two favourites among the many faces of the Buzzfeed staff. Ashley and Andrew. Some of you might know Andrew as "The Creepy Office Guy".



And Ashley as the genius behind many lovely clips like the "Channel your inner Beyoncé" one.



But my favourite, favourite thing is the two of them together. As the official Buzzfeed Office Crush Couple.





Well, their epic love saga has apparently had a few bumps in the road. And my new favourite "How to write Taylor Swift Song" suggests, that their office romance might be over. Which made me so sad, I actually had a dream about it last night (no kidding! I might need professional help...). Also: this tune is so unbelievably addictive - I've listened to it more often than any actual Taylor Swift song.



But I am still rooting for those two. Because it would make the internet a lovelier place. And also because I currently don't have enough tv shows to binge watch and I need my dose of fictional romance every week. So: Go Ashdrew! #teamashdrew

10/08/2014

So no one told you life was gonna be this way.



It's been 20 years since my favourite tv show of all times aired. It's been 10 years since it finished. It's been 5 years since I discovered this gem of television history and it's been 2 days since I last binge watched some episodes to make myself feel better. Because everything immediately, automatically gets better when you get to hang out with Chandler, Joey, Monica, Rachel, Ross and Phoebe. Everything!
And since I am not alone in all of this, I have collected five things about my favourite group of New Yorkers from the internet. Could I BE any more excited?!

1. Let's start it off with a whole lot of Janice. I gotta buy a vowel...




2. And here's some classy art to go with your television obsession...


3. There's currently a pop-up shop in New York City that looks like the Central Perk coffeeshop. Which is where I want to be right now.

4. I know, I have posted this before, but there is no way anyone could not love the Chandler Bing song...




5. And of course that leads us to who my favourite character of the show is. Which - of course is Chandler. I mean, that competition is not even close...




And here's a little bonus: Oh so many Friends Gifs... 


(as always, click the picture for source)

10/06/2014

5 things from the internet

Man alive, it's been a while since we had a random collection of fun things from the internet. But the internet is never on holiday, so there's a whole lot of new stuff out there and I am browsing the web endlessly in order to find them and show them to you (alright, I'm also bored at work sometimes...).

1. Glorious Aziz Ansari has a brilliant stand up program called "Buried alive". It's produced by Netflix, which is how I got to watch it. In it he talks about the obscene miracle called "men, randomly sending pictures of their penises to women they know". So much love for Ansari at this point!!!




2. I don't know about you, but I find the concept of time traveling deeply disturbing. Seriously, the only time I grudgingly accepted a time traveling storyline in anything was in the third Harry Potter book and even then it really gave me the heebie jeebies. It's just something about changing stuff in the past and alternate realities / parallel universes - basically, it's the reason why I continue not to watch Dr. Who. Anyhoo, the point of this tirade about time traveling: It seems like a few famous people have doppelgängers in the past. And that picture of Jay-Z... well, I'm pretty sure that time traveling actually played a role in this...


3. I'm not much a fan of zombie movies either, but the very funny Aubrey Plaza has taken it upon herself to convince me otherwise. Probably have to break my zombie embargo for this one...




4. Trevor is a regular guy. Just like anyone else, really. But there's one very specific thing that's setting him apart from us all. Trevor looks like Barack Obama.


5. And finally: Here's that sexually enlightened R'n'B song we've all been waiting for. Unfortunately I now have this stuck in my head... oh boy...




10/01/2014

It's as if all the things I've learned have fused into a crystal universe spinning before me so that I can see all the facets of it reflected in gorgeous bursts of light...



I've read a lot of really great books this summer, but there's one in particular that I have to recommend to you right now: "Flowers for Algernon".


It's about Charlie Gordon, a harmless, nice guy with an IQ of just under 70. He lives in New York, works in a bakery and tries to "make himself smarter" by attending night classes. 

One day, Charlie is picked for an experimental operation. It's supposed to increase his intelligence immensely and it's already been succesfully performed on a mouse named Algernon. Charlie doesn't fully understand any of it, but he's willing to do anything to become more intelligent. Soon after the operation, Charlie starts making progress. 


With his heightened intelligence, Charlie starts to remember much more about his past. And he starts to realise, that many people he considered friends are actually cruel and mean to him, which puts him in a depressed and rather cynical state of mind.


Charlie becomes more and more intelligent and soon surpasses the scientists that performed the operation on him. But he also gets mean and snippy and feels betrayed by the world and everyone in it.


The doctors who performed the operation on him also fail to see him as a human being with feelings, which upsets Charlie, who just wants to find his place in the world.


Just when Charlie has finally settled into his new life and come to terms with the life changing operation he has gone through, Algernon starts behaving irrationally. It starts to look like the effects of the operation are wearing off. 


I am not going to tell you how it ends, or what actually happens to Charlie and Algernon. What I'm going to tell you is this: It's an awesome book, go read it now, thank me later! 

9/29/2014

First in a series of love letters to John Oliver


There's something about snarky, super-cynical men that I like. No idea where that comes from (and I'm also pretty sure it's not exactly healthy...) but it is one of my most serious turn-ons when it comes to guys. Mind you, it needs to be combined with above average intelligence, but when those things come together, I'm basically good to go!

So it's no surprise I am massively in love with the genius that is John Oliver. Loved him in Community, loved him as Jon Stewarts sidekick on The Daily Show and now I love him as the host of his own late night show Last Week Tonight.

Best thing about that show: The moment when Oliver goes off into a major rant on something stupid that's happening in the world. Need examples? Here you go...

Here's John Oliver talking about the gender pay gap. My feminist heart nudges my feminist libido tenderly and whispers "It's go time!" as I watch this...



Something more? Let's watch him tackle the topic of death penalty!




And finally: John Oliver talking about nuclear weapons. So much love for this snarky, British, bespesctacled man...




Seriously, Mr. Oliver - if you're ever free for a beer (or a crosscountry roadtrip...), I'm right here...


(click picture for source)

9/23/2014

The girl with the empty eyes.

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Since I am home sick, I do really "necessary" stuff, like cleaning up my old external harddrive. Doing so, I found this old text I wrote back in early 2012. It's about a boy I liked a very long time ago. I thought I might share this one with you. I hope you like it.

..................................................................................................................................................................

I work in a record store and he comes in to buy records every week. Every week, he comes in and he lets his eyes wander over all the shelves with records, before they settle on me. And he smiles and says "Hi there". And I smile back and say "Hey, it's you again!". And then he goes through the rack with all the cheap records and I try to stare at him without being too obvious.

He's my number one customer crush and I get giddy with excitement every time I see him out in the real world. Once I run into him in the supermarket. He's shopping with a girl. When he sees me, he walks all the way over from the yoghurt isle and hugs me. "That's my girlfriend", he says and I smile and she smiles and he smiles and I want to shoot myself. She's pretty and smells really lovely. I am wearing stained sweatpants and have a spot on my chin that's as big as my fist and I also hate her very much.

I try to be nice, after all, he's just a crush and she seems sweet. But her empty eyes distract me from the conversation I am having with him about a festival. She's like a blank page with no words on it. Not even a doodle of a penis in one corner and a tictactoe game in the middle. There is simply nothing there. I am bored just standing next to her.

For a while, she comes with him to the store every week. And she never looks for records herself, she just stands there on stand-by, while I talk with him about our favourite artists. And the empty eyes are still empty. The page is still blank.

One time I run into them at a party. I am piss-blind-drunk and try to talk to her when he goes to the bathroom. And even though we talk for almost 20 minutes, her page seems blanker than ever. Simply white, just a little frayed around the edges. Later he asks me what I think of her. "She's nice" I say and I think to myself, that this is probably the only thing anyone could ever say about her. "She's nice."

I don't see him in months and completely forget about him. There are other cute customers to talk about records with and after all I didn't really know him that well. And maybe his girlfriend is really a fascinating person. Maybe she just hides it very well. Maybe it doesn't even matter. At all.

One day, I am working my usual shift and I see him coming in. He lets his eyes wander around the room. "Hey there" he says. "Hey, it's you again!" I say. "I thought you moved away". "No, I've just been really busy" he says. And he goes to his favourite shelf and then comes up to the counter to listen to a bunch of records. As he hands me the first one, I notice the ring on his finger. And he notices me noticing and smiles. "Yeah, we got married" he says.

And I smile at him and say "Congratulations!". And I think: Congratulations, you big, stupid, fucking idiot! You married the girl with the emptiest eyes I have ever seen. The most boring, goddamn fucking emptiest eyes in the whole wide world. The whitest page you could possibly find. Why? Is that what you like? An empty page to stare at? Because, if that's the case - why do I even bother trying to write interesting stuff on mine?!



(click picture for source)

9/15/2014

I went from San Berdoo to Kalamazoo.














Finally some time to look through all the pictures I took on vacation. Somehow my life seemed a lot easier a month ago, but that's probably just the beginnings of my annual autumn depression talking...

Anyways: My summer holiday was (as you can clearly see above) awesomepants! Guest stars incluce my lovely mum, my lovely little sister, my lovely dog Molly, lovely Gabsi and Leif who invited us for dinner and red wine and music every second day - and also the massive lobster I devoured in under 5 minutes.

9/12/2014

A song for every mood.

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The best thing about Spotify (no, this is not a sponsored post...) is that you can create a billion playlists, so you'll have the fitting music for every mood you might find yourself in. This is one of my favourite hobbies (as you can clearly see - I lead a wild life of excess!!!).

I have picked a few favourites out of some my gazillion playlists for you to listen to...


Happy

Let's start with the best sort of mood: happy go lucky, yes-baby-it's-summer-and-everything-is-awesome mood. Here's a soundtrack for that:



Why this one: Because the video is almost as brilliant as the song. Also, it never fails to cheer me up.

Best line: "Do-roo do do doooo" (this song is clearly NOT about the lyrics)




Why this one: Because I once had it stuck in my head for two weeks and made all my girls listen to it, and then they had it stuck in their heads and we all became officially insane.

Best line: "I fell in love last night, and I was dancing the whole way home."


And here's the entire playlist:





Sad

If you ever feel like walking in the rain and sobbing hysterically, here's the perfect soundtrack for that...



Why this one: Anything by the Smiths goes, really. Because - as my friend Tom once put it: "No matter how crappy you feel about the world - Morrissey feels worse!"

Best line: "To die by your side - well the pleasure, the privilege is mine."




Why this one: Gets me crying every fucking time. Also - the band that created this sob-fest-bonanza is very much awesome!

Best line: "But I had the hand of a clock beating me." (actually all of the lines are great...)


And here's the entire playlist:





Angry

Sometimes, when I get seriously pissed off, I need to listen to something superangry to let off steam. Let the rage commence...



Why this one: Well, nobody is as fucking angry as the Antichrist himself. Anything from the "Golden Age of Grotesque" album and you can see me powerwalking up a steep hill and screaming at trees in the forest (You may think I am joking, but I am really not.).

Best line: Is actually not from this song, but from a song called "Use your fist and not your mouth" (aaah, the suggestiveness...). It goes: "Put it in your middle finger and sing along". Which is exactly what you want to do when you are angry. Oh Marilyn, you simply get it...




Why this one: Makes you feel really kick-ass. Every time.

Best line: "Don't go screaming if I blow you with a bang."


And here's the entire playlist:





Dance-y

Yes, "dance-y" is a mood. For when you need to dance intensively and immediately until your legs come off. And the more embarassing the music - the better!


Why this one: If you ever want to be seriously scared, you should put this song on and send me to the dancefloor. I will downright terrify you.

Best line: "Russian roulette is not the same without a gun, and baby when it's love if it's not rough it isn't fun."




Why this one: I can rap the entire first verse. Seriously. By heart. Also: I am a feminist and please don't judge me for this.

Best line: "Cause I'm long and I'm strong and I'm gonna get the friction on." (Seriously, never give me Tequila when there's an off-chance that crappy music might be played. I will get way into it...)


And here is the entire playlist for your next DANCING PARTY! WOOT WOOT!




(click picture for source)

9/04/2014

"Why is America the greatest country in the world?" - "It's not. But it could be."

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A thousand years after everyone else I finally got around to watching "The Newsroom". What can I say - if you are prepared to shout at me for long enough, you'll eventually wear me down. And since I liked Sorkins "Studio 60", I was already intrigued.

http://fuckyeahthenewsroom.tumblr.com/page/77

http://fuckyeahthenewsroom.tumblr.com/page/77


So, on Tuesday night last week I sat down to watch the Newsroom, got completely hooked immediately and watched the stuff for 5 hours straight. It took me four days to watch all two seasons and now I can't wait for the third and final season to come out this November.

To sum it up in three words: IT'S. FUCKING. EPIC. It's witty, sarcastic, very funny, incredibly smart, nailbitingly exciting and also stylish as hell. It's journalism-porn - which suits me, because I am seriously psyched about working in journalism. Well, now I actually want to work in the Newsroom of the show and nowhere else, but nevermind...


The show centers around the news crew of a fictional tv channel and deals with real events that took place in the US around 2010 (at the start of the series). It has everything you need: great, logical characters, of course some love triangles (it can't just be about politics, after all...) and witty dialogue at bullet speed. The actors are all superb, the soundtrack made me cry three episodes in, and I honestly can not find a single weakness this show might have. It's just awesome. Period.

What's also interesting (and a bit creepy at that...) is that the show has a plotline involving the NSA and mass surveillance, which aired a good year before Edward Snowden even hit the spotlights. Either Sorkin is part of the spying network himself, or he simply has an incredible knack for topics that might become important in world politics. 

Either way: You should definitely watch this, even if you give a flying fuck about journalism. Simply because it's entertaining as hell and great fun to watch.


(pictures taken from here)