8/28/2014

There’s no starting over, no new beginnings, time races on, and you've just gotta keep on keeping on.



...aaaand we're back!

Hello lovely blog readers! It's been a while since I last posted something on this blog. Mostly because I was on vacation and din't have access to the internet for roughly two weeks (It was like being in rehab or at fat camp...). And - to answer the FAQ of holiday questions - yes it was lovely, the sun shone, the beaches were white, I ate a lot of fried fish and drank red wine and slept for 10 hours every day.

But to be completely honest: I have felt a little lost when it comes to this blog lately. There are a lot of things going on in my life right now (sounds super serious, but it's actually mostly boring shit like work and appointments and stuff.) and I don't feel like sharing too much of that on this blog. And when I come home in the evenings, I usually just want to put on elastic sweatpants and eat pizza in front of the tv. Being creative is too exhausting right now.

This doesn't mean that I don't want to blog anymore, it simply means that I won't pressure myself into writing an entry every single day. Maybe there will be just one every week, maybe two, maybe 5 on a single day if I feel like it. We'll see what the future holds...

Anyways, I hope you'll still hang around to enjoy stupid shit from the internet. Next up will be my holiday pictures and also videos of puppies and small children doing adorable things. Hooray!

8/05/2014

I was scared of dentists and the dark, I was scared of pretty girls and starting conversations,

MUSIC UPDATE! Whoohoo, so much music to show you. Man alive, after months of not finding anything new I love to listen to, here are finally, finally some new tunes to spice up your summer afternoons...




George Ezra - Budapest

Imagine my suprise, when I found out that George Ezra was not a bearded, 30-year-old hipster from Brooklyn but apparently a 12-year-old from good ol' Britannia. Either way, I love this song.





Marteria - Welt der Wunder

I was at one of his shows last weekend and am still pretty much completely fucked up (in a good way). I've rarely ever sweated so much during a concert. Seriously, it was disgusting. Awesomely disgusting! (Oh, yeah, and he's not exactly hard on the eyes either...)





Vance Joy - Riptide

Currently the best song my radio station (well, the radio station where I work as a trainee..) plays. Also: Men of this world - you can never go wrong with playing the ukulele. There isn't a woman in the world who doesn't immediately take off her pants when you start to play! Seriously!





Alabama Shakes - I found you

Play that song for me while I'm doing the dishes and you will find I easily and immediately transform into a very weird version of Janis Joplin (and that's saying something!).

8/04/2014

Silence is boring, words are gold.

Aaaah Pinterest, the black hole of time. You have 10 minutes to spare and think it would be fun? Well honey, suddenly it's 3 hours later and you're still on it. Horrible, horrible website.

One of my favourite things on Pinterest is to collect quotes (No, I don't own a doormat with "Keep calm and carry on" on it, and hopefully I never will!). Well, good quotes at least. Not too cheesy, not too obviously new-age-y and just smart enough to make you ponder on them for a while. Want a taste? Here you go.













Aaah, so much wisdom. All the pictures are taken from here, which is my Pinterest board solely for wise epitaphs and quotes. Because that's how artsy-fartsy I really am. Yeah, so go be impressed for a a while!

7/30/2014

In defense of Instagramming your food


There are a lot of things I am not exactly proud of (Little example: I stole a Kermit the frog puppet when I was in kindergarten, simply because the girl who owned it, was not letting me play with it. It probably still lies in its shallow grave behind the kindergartens garbage bins...Sorry Tanja. My bad.). Some things I am even ashamed of. But one thing that is definitely not on that list, is taking pictures of your food and then instagramming the shit out of them.

I love Instagram, even though the amount of pictures with the hipster-retro-filter-thing going on, has definitely reached a point where it's no longer fun but starts to piss everyone off. Especially since Lana del Rey decided to make every single one of her music videos look like it was made by putting Instagram filters on shots of her with her eyes half closed (yes, my Lana hatred is profound and still going strong!).



But back to the point: taking pictures of your food has become something that is universally mocked. There are tumblrs about it, there is a lot of hoo-ha about dinner table etiquette and I personally have my excuses already locked and loaded when I take out my phone and snap a picture of the awesome burger that the waitress has just put in front of me.



But to be honest, I'm honestly past the point of caring when it comes to Food-Instagram-Mockery. Why? Because you want to see pictures of my food, whether you like to admit it or not. Case and point: Jamie Oliver has almost 2 million followers on Instagram, and all that guy does, is snap pictures of his food! He does literally nothing else! And aren't cookbooks and food blogs just the same thing? I mean, you could get seriously inspired by my fantastic snapshots of carbohydrates in every possible shape and form! (Honestly, my own Instagram account could as well be called "An ode to the carbohydrate".)

So I'll be gramming all the edibles forever and always. Mostly because it's fun. But also because your envy at the massive burger I am just about to devour makes it all the more delicious to me...






More pictures of food - shortly before it passed through my gastric system, are to be found here.

7/28/2014

Let's call this the comeback



Oh my, two weeks since the last blog post. This blogging funk is getting out of control. And I don't even have a good excuse, apart from: I honestly have no idea where the last two or three weeks went. I remember sitting around in the office, I remember watching the Gilmore Girls and that's basically it. So clearly, I am really living la vida loca here...

Anyhoo, I thought that since I love lists, a nice good list would be a good comeback. I (am a bit weird, so just go with it folks!) love to play the "If you could bring one {insert item of choice here} to a lonely island, what would it be?"-game a lot. So I thought maybe that could be the fun little list, that gets us all back on the blogging track. Yes?


If you could bring one ... to a lonely island, what would it be?

book: Depending on how long I'd have to stay on the bloody piece of land, I'd say something by Dickens. Maybe Bleak House, because that one is reeeally long and you need to be enormously bored to read it. When you actually get down to it, it's a brilliant book. Only the getting to that point is a bit annoying...


record: The Beatles - Revolver. Mostly because Good Day Sunshine is on it, and if any song can cheer you up after being stranded on a deserted island, it's probably that one.




person: Is it wrong to assume that Ryan Gosling knows how to build a raft? I mean, I'm sure he'd at least come in handy when it's time to fish for food or to build camp fires or ... other stuff.



item of clothing: Hey, if Ryan's there I'm going nude all day long!


bottle of liquor: If it's an island in the Carribean, rum would be fitting. Only that I hate rum, so I'm going with a very, very large bottle of very, very dry red wine.


personal item: Well, I was taught to always bring a large towel, so that's what I'd probably pick.



(click pictures for source)

7/15/2014

“Dangerously well’— what an irony is this: it expresses precisely the doubleness, the paradox, of feeling ‘too well”



So, the season of driving the fuck far away and hide on a remote island for two weeks is upon us. And I am already hoarding books for August, when I get to lie on a beach for approximately 22 hours a day, with a book in one hand and a cool drink in the other. Since my brain pretty much goes into overdrive when I'm on holiday and I tend to stare blankly at stuff a lot, I need books that even a gorilla could read. Only problem is: I hate really obviously stupid books.

So far, I have a picked a few new books that I am hopeful are good, and also a few all-time favourites to re-read this summer. And in case you need some inspiration for your holidays (or your lazy afternoons at the pool), here you go:


Robert Galbraith - The Silkworm


Second one that J.K. Rowling wrote as her alias "Robert Galbraith". It's a crime novel, so it's no Dickens or Shakespeare, but Rowlings ridiculously thorough, detailed way to narrate stuff is basically a guarantee that this will be as awesome as the first one.


Oliver Sacks - The man who mistook his wife for a hat


I actually found this one in a bookshop and started reading it right there. And I did that thing, where you laugh out loud to the entire room and little children start to stare at you, fear etched into their faces. So I bought the book and hurried out of the store. Now it's in my "books for the holidays" box and awaits reading. It's written by a neurologist who recounts stories of his old patients. Which sounds slightly creepy, but is actually superfunny and very well written.


Kurt Vonnegut - Slaughterhouse Five


I'll finally read this one. My best friend said it was one of the best books she had read in a long time, so her word will have to suffice for now.


Tony Hawks - Round Ireland with a fridge


It's exactly what it sounds like: Some bloke lost a bet and has to travel around Ireland with a tiny fridge in his luggage. I read this book while on holiday, when I ran out of my books and my friend's mum lend me one of hers. I wasn't convinced at first, but after 10 pages I was hooked. Awesome book!



Here are some other books I can only recommend. And also here.

(pictures taken from the Amazon links above)

7/11/2014

The ultimate #TGIF post.

http://themetapicture.com/passive-aggressive-cross-stitch/


Man alive, another week passed by without having blogged a single fucking time. Having a week with the early shift at work really sucks the energy right out of me...

BUT, alas, the internet is there to cheer us all up. So many cute kitten Youtube clips, so many Sherlock Memes. So much to shorten the hours until it's finally the weekend!


For one thing, you can just piss around on Buzzfeed and also learn something in the process. (Insert "Mind blown" GIF here)


You may also read an interview with my spirit animal and personal hero Caitlin Moran.


You can watch this incredibly cute Porcupine eat some pumpkins.



(Seriously, did you know that anything could make these sounds? I mean...really?!)


Some journo-humour: Reporters having bad days in front of cameras. Man alive, my job suddenly seems so chill...


Alright peeps, have a lovely weekend and next week I'll hopefully have the time to blog on a daily basis. Or at least I'll try...


Now let Mr. Idris Elba sing you into the weekend!




(click picture for source)

7/03/2014

Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!


http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xKgOs27AlAw/UaC9fBhhl8I/AAAAAAAAAB0/w7rrWEWaAgU/s1600/l-244.png
 
I can't believe that this blog is actually more than a year old and we haven't yet had an entire Harry Potter Nerd Post? What the hell was I thinking? I mean, really! I am the massivest, craziest, bonkerest Potterhead in all the land! I bought a chocolate frog last week, for crying out loud! (And I might even think about naming my firstborn after a character in the books. Don't tell anyone, or there probably won't be any firstborn...)

Alright, let's kick this off the right way and sort you into houses first. Here's the official Sorting Hat Quiz from the Pottermore website. If you don't want to sign up (Stupid Muggle!), take it here.

All good and sorted? Well, then let's all watch Daniel Radcliffe sorting celebrities into houses for a bit.




I have to admit, I didn't really like the films that much (it got so much better, when Daniel Radcliffe got so much hotter, after the 5th film or so..) but there are some awesome things about the films. For example, that Ian Brown from the Stone Roses randomly sits in the background reading a book by Stephen Hawking. I mean, hello brilliant pop culture references! (In case you are under 25 - this is Ian Brown.)


http://www.buzzfeed.com/ariellecalderon/harry-potter-jokes-even-muggles-will-appreciate


Also - even though I really don't like theme parks - I need to go to Orlando Florida and visit the Harry Potter thing. Mostly for the gift shop, if I'm really honest... (Ravenclaw Quidditch sweater, here I come...). But also for the film sets in that park. I mean, look at that stuff!


Being a massive fan girl with a tattoo wishlist, this definitely has crossed my mind as well...


http://www.buzzfeed.com/ariellecalderon/harry-potter-jokes-even-muggles-will-appreciate

And we also need some Harry Potter themed humor, so here you go.


And we'll end all of this, with the GREATEST PIECE OF RAP MUSIC EVER WRITTEN! (Jimmy Fallon, you little fucking genius!)




Ah yes, and if you ever wonder what to get me for my birthday - this will do!



(click pictures for source)

7/01/2014

Juli's Glorious Pasta



My lovely colleague Juli invited me to dinner a few weeks back, and she served a brilliant pasta dish, that I have recreated at least once a week since then. Even though I have always hated zucchini (and wasn't that excited, when I at first saw she was putting it into the dinner she was making...) this is probably the best possible way to prepare it.

So, I know there hasn't been a lot of food on this blog, mostly because I am way too tired after work to really put an effort into any sort of cooking activities. But this pasta is the golden, glorious exception from the rule. Here we go:


Juli's Glorious Pasta

You need:
2 cloves of garlic
1 zucchini
cocktail tomatoes
1 pack of bacon
parmesan cheese
white wine
cream cheese
spaghetti

Cut the bacon into stripes, put it into a frying pan with the garlic and a tiny bit of olive oil. Sauté the whole shit and then put the cut up zucchini into the pan as well. Add the cut up tomatoes and drown the entire shabang in white wine. Put the spaghetti into boiling water. Shortly before they are done, add a few spoonfulls of cream cheese to the zucchini-bacon-tomato-thingy (the zucchini bits should be soft at this point.). Put the sauce generously (!) on the spaghetti and sprinkle generously (!) with parmesan.

Et voilà! Cheesy, gooey, creamy goodness!

6/30/2014

Don't wanna work work, I wanna make money while I sleep.


Happy Monday folks! I hope you had a lovely weekend. To start this week off right, here are a few things from the internet. Unfortunately, the card above is not one of them. Couldn't find out where to get one of these. They would make great birthday cards for random people you don't even know that well...


1. I have to admit I am kind of a sucker for statistics. You know, the fun kind. Like on this page: With the help of stats and fun graphs you can find out, just how old you are. Prepare to feel ancient.




2. Jamie Foxx - panty dropper. Maybe I should re-watch Django Unchained some time soon...




3. I am massively addicted to this. Massively!



4. This is actually really cool: A 19-year old student found a way to clean the world's oceans in under 5 years time and making a profit of it. Which - if this really works - would be briliant! Read all about it here.


5. And now, for some music. I am fairly certain, that this is not what any of my friends would deem "cool" music, but if I'm totally honest with you - it is the song I currently dance to every morning when preparing my cereal (It's what I call "cereal dancing" and we're hoping it becomes an Olympic sport any day now...). Also, it's the perfect song for any Monday.





(picture taken from here)