7/15/2014

“Dangerously well’— what an irony is this: it expresses precisely the doubleness, the paradox, of feeling ‘too well”



So, the season of driving the fuck far away and hide on a remote island for two weeks is upon us. And I am already hoarding books for August, when I get to lie on a beach for approximately 22 hours a day, with a book in one hand and a cool drink in the other. Since my brain pretty much goes into overdrive when I'm on holiday and I tend to stare blankly at stuff a lot, I need books that even a gorilla could read. Only problem is: I hate really obviously stupid books.

So far, I have a picked a few new books that I am hopeful are good, and also a few all-time favourites to re-read this summer. And in case you need some inspiration for your holidays (or your lazy afternoons at the pool), here you go:


Robert Galbraith - The Silkworm


Second one that J.K. Rowling wrote as her alias "Robert Galbraith". It's a crime novel, so it's no Dickens or Shakespeare, but Rowlings ridiculously thorough, detailed way to narrate stuff is basically a guarantee that this will be as awesome as the first one.


Oliver Sacks - The man who mistook his wife for a hat


I actually found this one in a bookshop and started reading it right there. And I did that thing, where you laugh out loud to the entire room and little children start to stare at you, fear etched into their faces. So I bought the book and hurried out of the store. Now it's in my "books for the holidays" box and awaits reading. It's written by a neurologist who recounts stories of his old patients. Which sounds slightly creepy, but is actually superfunny and very well written.


Kurt Vonnegut - Slaughterhouse Five


I'll finally read this one. My best friend said it was one of the best books she had read in a long time, so her word will have to suffice for now.


Tony Hawks - Round Ireland with a fridge


It's exactly what it sounds like: Some bloke lost a bet and has to travel around Ireland with a tiny fridge in his luggage. I read this book while on holiday, when I ran out of my books and my friend's mum lend me one of hers. I wasn't convinced at first, but after 10 pages I was hooked. Awesome book!



Here are some other books I can only recommend. And also here.

(pictures taken from the Amazon links above)

7/11/2014

The ultimate #TGIF post.

http://themetapicture.com/passive-aggressive-cross-stitch/


Man alive, another week passed by without having blogged a single fucking time. Having a week with the early shift at work really sucks the energy right out of me...

BUT, alas, the internet is there to cheer us all up. So many cute kitten Youtube clips, so many Sherlock Memes. So much to shorten the hours until it's finally the weekend!


For one thing, you can just piss around on Buzzfeed and also learn something in the process. (Insert "Mind blown" GIF here)


You may also read an interview with my spirit animal and personal hero Caitlin Moran.


You can watch this incredibly cute Porcupine eat some pumpkins.



(Seriously, did you know that anything could make these sounds? I mean...really?!)


Some journo-humour: Reporters having bad days in front of cameras. Man alive, my job suddenly seems so chill...


Alright peeps, have a lovely weekend and next week I'll hopefully have the time to blog on a daily basis. Or at least I'll try...


Now let Mr. Idris Elba sing you into the weekend!




(click picture for source)

7/03/2014

Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!


http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xKgOs27AlAw/UaC9fBhhl8I/AAAAAAAAAB0/w7rrWEWaAgU/s1600/l-244.png
 
I can't believe that this blog is actually more than a year old and we haven't yet had an entire Harry Potter Nerd Post? What the hell was I thinking? I mean, really! I am the massivest, craziest, bonkerest Potterhead in all the land! I bought a chocolate frog last week, for crying out loud! (And I might even think about naming my firstborn after a character in the books. Don't tell anyone, or there probably won't be any firstborn...)

Alright, let's kick this off the right way and sort you into houses first. Here's the official Sorting Hat Quiz from the Pottermore website. If you don't want to sign up (Stupid Muggle!), take it here.

All good and sorted? Well, then let's all watch Daniel Radcliffe sorting celebrities into houses for a bit.




I have to admit, I didn't really like the films that much (it got so much better, when Daniel Radcliffe got so much hotter, after the 5th film or so..) but there are some awesome things about the films. For example, that Ian Brown from the Stone Roses randomly sits in the background reading a book by Stephen Hawking. I mean, hello brilliant pop culture references! (In case you are under 25 - this is Ian Brown.)


http://www.buzzfeed.com/ariellecalderon/harry-potter-jokes-even-muggles-will-appreciate


Also - even though I really don't like theme parks - I need to go to Orlando Florida and visit the Harry Potter thing. Mostly for the gift shop, if I'm really honest... (Ravenclaw Quidditch sweater, here I come...). But also for the film sets in that park. I mean, look at that stuff!


Being a massive fan girl with a tattoo wishlist, this definitely has crossed my mind as well...


http://www.buzzfeed.com/ariellecalderon/harry-potter-jokes-even-muggles-will-appreciate

And we also need some Harry Potter themed humor, so here you go.


And we'll end all of this, with the GREATEST PIECE OF RAP MUSIC EVER WRITTEN! (Jimmy Fallon, you little fucking genius!)




Ah yes, and if you ever wonder what to get me for my birthday - this will do!



(click pictures for source)

7/01/2014

Juli's Glorious Pasta



My lovely colleague Juli invited me to dinner a few weeks back, and she served a brilliant pasta dish, that I have recreated at least once a week since then. Even though I have always hated zucchini (and wasn't that excited, when I at first saw she was putting it into the dinner she was making...) this is probably the best possible way to prepare it.

So, I know there hasn't been a lot of food on this blog, mostly because I am way too tired after work to really put an effort into any sort of cooking activities. But this pasta is the golden, glorious exception from the rule. Here we go:


Juli's Glorious Pasta

You need:
2 cloves of garlic
1 zucchini
cocktail tomatoes
1 pack of bacon
parmesan cheese
white wine
cream cheese
spaghetti

Cut the bacon into stripes, put it into a frying pan with the garlic and a tiny bit of olive oil. Sauté the whole shit and then put the cut up zucchini into the pan as well. Add the cut up tomatoes and drown the entire shabang in white wine. Put the spaghetti into boiling water. Shortly before they are done, add a few spoonfulls of cream cheese to the zucchini-bacon-tomato-thingy (the zucchini bits should be soft at this point.). Put the sauce generously (!) on the spaghetti and sprinkle generously (!) with parmesan.

Et voilà! Cheesy, gooey, creamy goodness!

6/30/2014

Don't wanna work work, I wanna make money while I sleep.


Happy Monday folks! I hope you had a lovely weekend. To start this week off right, here are a few things from the internet. Unfortunately, the card above is not one of them. Couldn't find out where to get one of these. They would make great birthday cards for random people you don't even know that well...


1. I have to admit I am kind of a sucker for statistics. You know, the fun kind. Like on this page: With the help of stats and fun graphs you can find out, just how old you are. Prepare to feel ancient.




2. Jamie Foxx - panty dropper. Maybe I should re-watch Django Unchained some time soon...




3. I am massively addicted to this. Massively!



4. This is actually really cool: A 19-year old student found a way to clean the world's oceans in under 5 years time and making a profit of it. Which - if this really works - would be briliant! Read all about it here.


5. And now, for some music. I am fairly certain, that this is not what any of my friends would deem "cool" music, but if I'm totally honest with you - it is the song I currently dance to every morning when preparing my cereal (It's what I call "cereal dancing" and we're hoping it becomes an Olympic sport any day now...). Also, it's the perfect song for any Monday.





(picture taken from here)

6/24/2014

I'm blowing the day to take a walk in the sun // And fall on my face on somebody's new-mown lawn.


As soon as it gets warmer outside, I get weirdly undemanding. All I need is a patch of grass in the half-shadows, a cool drink and something to read. And I can stay there the entire day if I have to. Just lying on my back, staring up into the blue sky and thinking about all the adventures ahead.




Dog, pie and beer are just an added bonus. As is this alltime favourite Spoitfy list of mine. Perfect soundtrack for lying around in the sunshine and getting freckles in weird places.

6/21/2014

5 things from the internet



Haha, and here I thought I would blog daily. God, I seriously am the worst. Sorry about that. Anyways, I usually don't blog on weekends, but I needed to do something about my bad conscience. So, it's time for 5 funnies that I found on the internet. Enjoy and have a lovely weekend!


1. May I please, please, pleeeease move in with these guys? They are British, they are very cute and when surprised with a room full of balloons, they say "Holy fucksticks!", which is what I will say at any given opportunity now.





2. Okay, so this is actually a pretty long article. It's about Tom Cruise and how the internet has destroyed his career. I strongly dislike Tom Cruise, but man alive this was an interesting read!


3. Jennifer Lawrence. Jimmy Fallon. Jelloshots and J.Lo. This video has it all.





4. This had me peeing a little. Mostly because I hate Lana's guts, but also because of the sentence "My pussy tastes like Pepsi."





5. This dog. Gets it. Much hearts and stuff.






Alright, so I feel really bad for blogging so lousily (lovely word.) and so you'll get one extra. The man that can fill up my tearducts like no other...




(click picture for source)

6/17/2014

11 things that apparently happen, when you get into journalism



I have been a trainee for two weeks now, an intern since the start of the year and for the past four or five years I have dabbled in "journalism" (I put it in quotes, because I also wrote articles about being a groupie for skijumpers, which isn't really journalism. It's not really anything. And let's be honest, this blog isn't a breeding ground for newspaperworthy topics, is it?). And I have noticed a few things, that apparently happen to anyone working as a journalist. Want a fun trip inside my working life? Yeah you do. (And yes, I am aware that this is basically just a buzzfeed list. But that's what I'm reading these days. Buzzfeed. Because that's all my brain accepts at five in the fucking morning. Check #11 for reference...)


#1 Your caffeine intake rises dramatically

Coffee and Coca Cola are the beverages most consumed in our office. Everyone has a mild (read: severe) caffeine addiction. The day the coffee machine breaks, will be the day someone loses their head. Game of Thrones style. Which I know, because...



#2 You will get "nerdified"

All your colleagues (or at least the vast majority) are massive nerds. If you're not already one, you should get into it ASAP. I am not only talking fantasy books and sci-fi series, I am talking literature nerds, political nerds, computer nerds, boys that play video games during large portions of the day and looohoooong conversations about computer programmes. Get yourself a copy of "Geekologie for Dummies" today or you will become the social paria of your office.


#3 You start every other sentence with "We did a feature about that..."

Whatever the topic, whatever your degree of knowledge about it - you will come off like an expert (or an extremely annoying know-it-all). Which will lead to your friends wanting to strangle you. "Have you heard about that knew sewage plant around the corner?" - "Yeah, we did a feature about that...". "Have you heard about that mayor that did a lot of cocaine off his secretary's stomach?" - "Yeah, I actually interviewed him. And his secretary. And I took a sniff out of her navel as well..." Let's be honest, you'll get some awesome stories out of it, but don't overdo it.


#4 You'll buy a lot of Apple products.

Two years ago I had a regular mobile phone. Now I own an Iphone, an Ipad and a Macbook. I have heard that this is a common development, yes?! (because that's what I told my mum...)


#5 You suddenly know a shitload of people

Especially in local journalism, you will have to call and contact the same people over and over again. And then you run into them at press conferences or a party. And all of a sudden you have a hundred facebook friends more and you'll wonder how the hell you met all of these people. (Don't get me wrong, in most cases this is a fun development. ... Alright, it's fifty-fifty...) 



Also: Sometimes you will meet "celebrities" (or: really cute guys) which will be a highlight of your work days. The picture above still makes female colleagues of mine go "Awwwww....I CANT BELIEVE YOU GOT TO MEET HIM AND I DIDN'T!"


#6 Your alcohol intake rises dramatically

I have a colleague who claims that there is a direct link between journalism and alcoholism. He may be right. These people can chuck away a lot. Cheerio!


#7 You suddenly use weird abbreviations that none of your friends will understand.

"Well, I did a TI with him this morning, and..." - "You did a what?" - "TI. Telephone Interview. Try to keep up!" My friends might hate me by now...


#8 You see a story in everything

And by that, I mean everything. When I caught myself thinking about how I could turn a story my friend told me about her weird ex-boyfriend into a news-feature, I realised I needed help...


#9 You think you are doing world-changing, Pulitzer price worthy work

When in fact, you are working on a feature about a rare species of bats that live in a railroad tunnel. Or talk about the hottest football players, that play in the world cup (which is more fun, than Pulitzer price worthy journalism anyways...).


#10 You go on at least 4 different news sites before breakfast.

And on Twitter on your way to work. Just in case you missed something really important.


And, last but not least:


#11 You work really odd hours

Nights, Sundays, late evenings, or - in my very fun case - from five in the morning to midday. Which makes for interesting lunch times (I recently had lunch before 11 am) and fun moments, when you have gone to bed at nine in the evening and your neighbour rings your doorbell to borrow some salt. You also feel constantly jetlagged and start crying over soy milk (don't even ask). I have been told that this is a rite of passage. I also am too tired to protest.



6/16/2014

Why I am such a lousy blogger right now.

I get up at 5 am. I get home from work at 2 pm. Then I try to stay awake until 9 pm and not kill anyone in the process. My colleagues who have all assured me, that I will get used to this in no time are basically all evil liars.

This is why I haven't blogged all last week. I have been trying to stay awake. Which was too demanding to think of anything else. I am so sorry for that. So, let me make it up to you, with a picture of Ryan Gosling stripping down.


And for my one or two male readers: Natalie Portman being a stripper.



And if you're still a little miffed, here is a song mashup by the brilliant Pomplamoose. To brighten up your Monday a bit. See you tomorrow! (Yes, we'll have daily blog posts from now on again!)





(I do not own these pictures. Click pictures for source.)

6/05/2014

It's easy-cheesy rom-com time!

Getting up at 5 in the morning has a lot of upsides, I am sure. Unfortunately I haven't yet discovered any of them. I am really sorry, that I haven't been blogging more regularly this week, but I have been feeling heavily jetlagged for the past 4 days.

And when you're this tired, you can't really watch serious films that require you thinking a lot. So, in honour of this spectacularly obismal working schedule of mine: Here are some cheesy rom-coms (and most of them are my favourite kind: not only cheesy, but also overly quirky and a bit funny), that you should all watch. I will watch them at least. Possibly with ice cream and in my pyjamas (because sometimes I thoroughly enjoy being a walking cliché...).


What If



Aaaah, Daniel Radcliffe, you tiny, hairy, British man. You will be the reason I will watch this film at least once (and possibly a few times after that...). Also: Adam Driver (whom I find disgusting, but I regularly get kicked in the shins by my female friends for saying that.).


This is where I leave you



Not exactly a rom-com per se, but it also starrs Adam Driver and (drumroll, please!) Tina Fey (WHOOOOOHOOO!!!) who apparently also wrote and co-produced the film. And the trailer alone made me giggle a few times, so this one is definitely on top of the must-see-list.


Paradise



I'm still not completely sure whether I actually love or despise Russell Brand. There doesn't really seem to be anything in between these two emotions for me when it comes to this bearded cockney weirdo. But the storyline itself seems to be supercheesy coming-of-age stuff (complete with a middle-aged black woman as a spiritual guide and pseudo-wild adventures!). Awesomeness!


The Decoy Bride



Let's be honest: The title is already sheer awesomeness (one might think it's maybe meant ironically, but it's really not!). And the cast is reason alone to watch this film. It's the sexy Doctor, a.k.a. David Tennant and my personal Irish dream husband Dylan Moran. The quirky lovestory is just an added bonus.